A Celebrant Led Wedding - Not the real thing?

Updated: Jun 7, 2019

Hi guys, so no doubt you have read blog after blog about what a Celebrant is and what we can offer for your special day – it’s great right? Well I love it, that’s for sure. Of course it’s not for everyone and frankly we live in a day and age of choice so how wonderful that we now have another option for your special celebration.

(This was the hottest Easter Sunday for a beautiful outdoor ceremony set in the Orchard of Winters Tale Barn, Steeple Claydon)

It still amazes me that some people just don’t get it (and sadly I have to admit there are still venues and other wedding suppliers that don’t get it either). In the past months I have heard many comments like “It’s not even a real wedding” or “The couple are already legally married, so what is the point” and even “If the couple don’t want to do the proper ceremony I’ll pass on your details”.

I also know that many of my couples get this sort of reaction from some of their family and friends.

So, I just want to put the record straight a little...

It’s 100% true that a Celebrant in England is unable to perform a legal “marriage”. This is still the job of the Registrar where the couple and their 2 witnesses will arrange a statutory or 2+2 ceremony (the couple and their 2 witnesses only) which is generally held in an Office, not a Ceremony Room. You will make your declaration that “I know not of any lawful reason why …” and then the “I take you to be my lawful wedded husband / wife”. I explain this as Registering your Marriage – getting the certificate, but it’s not the Wedding Day.

I believe that the actual Wedding Day is where you get all your loved ones around you, you get to do it where you choose (no need for a venue to have a wedding license). You get to choose the style of writing and what the content is all about and you get to write your own personal and unique vows to each other. A truly bespoke ceremony just for you!

I can assure you your Wedding Day will be real! In my opinion it’s as real as it gets because I will be totally focused on you as a couple, your relationship and your family. We talk about how you met, what you love about each other, what your hopes and dreams are together and how strong your bond is. We can talk about the funny stuff too – who’s rubbish in the kitchen, who’s a drama queen and who’s scared of spiders – we are all human and we are all unique. In that case, why oh why would we think a one size fits all ceremony will do for everyone?

There are extroverts and introverts and the ceremony can totally adapt to either. Love to talk? Write a full on script of your vows and go for it – hell even sing them if you like! But if the thought of standing in front of everyone, let alone speaking, fills you with dread we can keep it as simple as an “I do”

Of course there is a lot of tradition behind a Wedding Ceremony and this need not be lost. You can still walk down an aisle, you still exchange vows and rings (there’s no legal reason to do this at the Registry Office), in fact you can still sing hymns and say prayers if that’s what you want – that’s right! It is a common misconception that there is no religion in a Celebrant led wedding. Take it or leave it – your wish is my command! And that means any religious combination or mixed faith ceremony is not a problem (though of course I am no religious expert so we work together to find a good fit here).

Can you see any bit of this that’s not real yet? As I said, it’s about choices;

If you are not fussed about the content of your ceremony and your venue is licensed then of course it makes sense to hire a Registrar to conduct the wedding for you.

If you are religious then of course a Church wedding should be your choice.

But if any of my comments above spark an interest for you, you are the kind of couple who should consider a Celebrant wedding – because it will totally reflect who you are as an individual and as a couple.